At Gifted Journeys, we get a lot of calls from women considering surrogacy. What is overwhelming to us is the profound sense of compassion that is expressed. We hear stories of loved ones, family members, friends and co-workers whose infertility inspired an interest in learning more about the surrogacy process. If a big, warm and open heart were the only requirements for qualifying as a gestational carrier, our office would rush to match every intended parent we have waiting and then move on to even more matches. How we wish we could work with every woman we hear from; we certainly do read and consider every application with an open-mind and an optimism about moving forward.
But what do we look for in a surrogacy application? Some of the requirements are imposed upon us by law, others come from the clinics we work with and others are agency policy: things we, at Gifted Journeys feel are important in making this a good experience for all. If, as you are reading the below you see yourself in what we describe, then there is a good indication that you may qualify to be a gestational carrier.
- ALTRUISM: The women who come forward to be a gestational carrier are women who believe that helping someone else become a family is a beautiful expression of gratitude and a generous gift to give to someone who is hoping for a baby. There is a strong motivation to help and an excitement about the loving arms of parents whom have been waiting for so long.
- HAPPY HOME: The surrogacy experience is a family experience. That may seem like an obvious statement but what we focus on when reviewing an application is how the surrogate’s family will feel about the journey. If the surrogate is married, her spouse must, legally, be supportive of the surrogacy. Whether she is married or not, we also inquire about the surrogate’s children. Will they be able to share in the joy of the experience? Are there the proper resources in place to support the surrogate at home and will that support remain available throughout the journey? At Gifted Journeys we pay a great deal of attention to the children traveling along with us, we have thoughtful and fun surprises planned so that everyone feels special, welcoming the surrogate’s family into the process makes it all the more better for everyone.
- PREVIOUS BIRTH: All of the gestational carriers we consider at Gifted Journeys must have given birth at least once and the pregnancy must have been a healthy, uncomplicated experience. From a mental health perspective, we want to be sure that the carriers with whom we work are prepared for a surrogacy pregnancy. Having given birth before allows the surrogate to anticipate better what the experience might be like.
- HEALTH: A gestational carrier must meet certain health requirements, satisfying the fertility clinic that she is fit to carry a pregnancy. Gestational Carriers must have a healthy BMI and lead a healthy lifestyle, she must be a non-smoker. Before a surrogacy is approved, the fertility clinic will ask the surrogate to be screened both by a physician and a mental health provider, usually, but not always at the fertility clinic where the intended parents have been.
- ABLE TO COMMIT: Surrogacy is a long journey and much of that journey can be time demanding, even during the matching process. Surrogates will have to provide a good deal of paperwork to the agency, medical records and obstetrical records and other family information. There will be a number of medical appointments and other scheduling matters. Our team will work with you hand-in-hand as we assemble your file and as you begin to work with the medical team. We find that our happiest surrogates are organized, they have the time and the flexibility to tend to the things we and the clinic will need of them and they enjoy and appreciate our commitment to making the process as pleasant as possible.
Gestational carriers are extra-ordinary women. We are in awe of and inspired by the surrogates with which we are so fortunate to work. Not every woman will qualify to be a gestational carrier, the above are just some of the many requirements considered and for those applicants we have to decline, we know those women will go on to share their hearts in other beautiful ways.