At Gifted Journeys, we believe in mutually matching surrogates and intended parents. The journey upon which each will embark is a long one with sometimes some pretty complex issues to navigate. While our surrogacy team will be in close touch from match through delivery, still we encourage as deep a connection as is desired in each match and we make surrogate/intended parent match recommendations accordingly.
When intended parents and surrogates come together with a shared expectation of matters like frequency of contact and extent to which, together, everyone will work through the surrogacy it can and most often does yield a beautiful and gratifying experience. Some intended parents, though, will be naturally limited in their abilities to more frequently communicate given their international status. Time differences and language barriers may be an issue for a surrogate wanting more intimate contact. Cultural differences may also result in different expectations. We make sure that when we match a surrogate with an international intended parent that the surrogate understands whether or not there will be limitations to contact, we make sure she is comfortable with and has reasonable expectations. Sometimes surrogates prefer the independence that comes along with working with a longer-distance intended parent, this can be a welcomed experience for the right surrogate. When we meet a surrogacy applicant we make sure that we give her the opportunity to really explore what she is hoping for in a match.
On the other hand, when we have intended parents and surrogates who are looking for a close bond, we also consider that preference when making recommendations and we make sure we have all of our resources available to encourage that sort of deeper connection. At Gifted Journeys we have been so fortunate to participate in and support some incredibly loving relationships. The process by which each surrogate will bond with her intended parents is very individualized and we do our best to accommodate all. Some intended parents and surrogates enjoy weekly phone or Skype meetings while others may become so close they vacation together. Whatever works. We celebrate and support success.
But, what happens when it doesn’t work? What happens when the relationship that was planned for, the bond that was anticipated doesn’t happen? That’s when the Gifted Journeys team can best be utilized. We stay in close contact both with the surrogate and the intended parents so that we can get in front of any developing issues. Sometimes we may find that another level of support would be beneficial. We have strong working relationships with some of the best mental health professionals experienced in surrogacy and we call on them regularly to assist in any way that our intended parents or surrogates need. Sometimes a phone meeting or two can help get things back on track but if more is needed, that is something that can easily and comfortably be arranged.
Sometimes, a surrogate will benefit from and enjoy peer support. Throughout the process the surrogates with whom Gifted Journeys work have access to various types of activities and events including surrogate meet-ups and other virtual type of resources. And we check in with surrogates about how their families are doing. Through our Gifted Journeys’ Surrogates Benefits Package we offer the surrogate and her family gifts along the way to be sure that they feel, as a family, that the surrogacy is a positive experience. Surrogates who are getting home support and encouragement are happier surrogates and we do our best with gestures and gifts along the way to make certain that everyone feels cared for and thought of; so that the surrogate can have the peace-of-mind that this journey really is a group outing.