If you are in this field long enough and if you work with really progressive colleagues, you see change. We see it in so many aspects of assisted family building, the age of intended mothers, gay family building, changes in practices regarding the number of embryos to transfer. Another area of change we are delighted to see and to embrace is a raised awareness of the benefits of breastfeeding, not only in the general population but also, particularly of interest to our Gifted Journeys team, an increase in discussion about gestational carriers pumping breast milk following their surrogacy delivery.
For some time, our mental health colleagues have been emphatic in their recommendation that surrogates not direct nurse, they cautioned against a certain bond forming. Although, we certainly know, anecdotally, that there have been some surrogates whom have been successful in nursing, at Gifted Journeys we are very excited about the increase in gestational carriers willing to participate in an arrangement whereby they are pumping for their surrogate family…and our mental health colleagues are enthusiastic about it, as well.
As is the case with so much in surrogacy, a terrific journey is about mutual understanding, about the sharing of expectations and a willingness to accommodate. Before we began to see this trend in surrogates pumping really take off, most of the time, arrangements between the parents and the carrier were casual. A carrier would pump as much as she could for as long as she was comfortable and the parents were grateful for this to continue. Lately, though, we are seeing more parents enter into specific contractual arrangements with their carriers, some addressing compensation, if any is to be paid and, most clarifying the extent of time during which the carrier will pump. We encourage any arrangement that is safe, appropriate and welcomed between the parents and the surrogates. And we encourage early discussion about this, if possible. If the parents and the surrogates are ready, it is recommended that this arrangement be discussed with the attorneys working on the Gestational Carrier Agreement. Not everyone will specify, in detail, a milk-pumping arrangement; some agreements may simply say that the parties will consider it as delivery approaches. Other agreements will explicitly reference agreed upon terms such as payment and for how long the arrangement will consider and address how the breast milk will be transported to the family. If the parents and the surrogate can agree, in advance, to these specifics, then best to get it into the agreement. If terms are agreed to later, Gifted Journeys recommend speaking with the attorneys about whether or not it is a best practice to add an addendum to the Gestational Carrier Agreement.
The on-going relationship of a surrogate and the family for whom she carried can and should be a beautiful experience. Arrangements that include pumping for the baby can further that tremendous family connection, what is important is that the parents and the gestational carrier make the best and most thoughtful decision for all.