Most of the staff at Gifted Journeys has been matching hopeful, intended parents for a very long time. Collectively, we have worked with so many, many families- each one of those families has had the personal and absolute commitment of our staff to journey with them through the process. But when does that journey begin? What are those very first steps and what is that terrain like?
Matching intended parents and gestational carriers is an art. Yes, there is a process to it. Of course, we have a step-by-step methodology that we’ve relied on for years, a process that is both efficient and reliable. We take into consideration both the carrier and the intended parents, believing very much that matching is a mutual matter; that everyone needs to find a best fit. Successful matching occurs when our staff has a really good rapport, a good understanding of the expectations of the intended parents, the carrier and the carrier’s family. We rely on our process because we know it is successful but we also rely on instincts – sharp, keen instincts that have developed over years of bringing folks together in collaborative reproduction.
We nurture every relationship we have with our intended parents and with the carriers with which we work. We genuinely set out to bond with those we are working with, essentially because we love our work and the relationship building is one of the most enjoyable aspects of it but also because the more we know about our intended parents and carriers the better we can serve both. Early on, in the first few days and weeks, we will set out to do just that, to really get to understand what has brought the parents and the carriers not only to the process but to Gifted Journeys. We get a handle on the practical matters, timing, preferences, philosophies, biases and expectations. We ask some really tough questions about some very sensitive topics and then we’ll engage in relatively light talk about seemingly less significant matters, exchanges that allow our team to gain invaluable insight. For the most part, we will be working together for about a year, our staff, our intended parents and our carriers will journey along a pretty long path. Managing the day-to-day of a surrogacy is all the more pleasant for everyone involved if we are like-minded but also tolerant and respectful of personalities and idiosyncrasies. The art of the matching is where we find success. Will these intended parents and this carrier (and her family), unknown to each other before coming to Gifted Journeys, be able to successfully partner as we move forward? That is the most critical aspect of our matching process. Will there be bumps? Probably. Will there be support when things get challenging? Of course there will be. We offer the guidance and care of our mental health colleagues, we welcome the gestational carriers with whom we are working, both matched and those still waiting to participate in our Mindful Surrogacy program, we encourage peer interaction and, perhaps most importantly, we bring to the process honed skill and an informed sense of managing relationships.
When you are hoping for a match, know that we are too. A true match, a coming together for the beauty of a long-term and successful bond.
So, while waiting for a surrogacy match, whether you are an intended parent or a carrier, let us get to know you, as much of you as you are willing to share. You may match quickly or it may take time but that ‘down-time’ can be of great value, as well. Take advantage of the resources we have developed but also take the time to share as much about you as you think will be helpful. We want to know you because we truly do want this journey to be successful from the very first steps, even before we’ve found a match.