The last thing someone wants to hear when he or she is going through the painful, heart-wrenching journey of infertility is “seize the day; let’s dance!” Most of the hopeful parents I get the opportunity to meet have come to us at the latter part of their journey worn down, tired and sad. Many of these women embody the heartache and pain that comes with all of the losses, such as limited reproductive capacity, failed in vitro fertilization procedures, miscarriages, loss of time, and thousands upon thousands of dollars down the drain. So the idea of celebrating the small moments in this process, not worrying about the bigger picture or end result, is not something that is easy to do. It seems far safer to hold off on celebrating, in fear of a bigger letdown when once again you may end up with nothing.
I have a good friend who is openly sharing her journey with fertility treatments. She made a comment that I didn’t expect to hear from someone going on her reproduction journey. When I asked how she has maintained such a positive attitude throughout everything, she said,
“I don’t know how things are going to turn out. But with each step, I celebrate the moment that I might have a baby. When I had my egg retrieval, I took a second to celebrate in the moment before we found out if I had viable embryos. When my surrogate had the transfer, I celebrated the hope of being a mom, wondering if it was a boy or girl before we even took a pregnancy test. I’m not giving up these moments of happiness and hope, even though it’s been difficult experience.”
Watching my friend go through this journey, knowing the statistics and the most likely outcome, have made her comments seem insanely optimistic. I find it inspiring that she is able to manage that.
Thinking of her comments made me think of the movie “Life is Beautiful.” While the movie and my friend’s infertility journey are vastly different, it’s the general idea of the resiliency of the human spirit and the ability to find light in a dark situation that they share in common. Celebrating (or even creating) the little moments of hope, even after several disappointments, allows for sparks of joy between bouts of pain. Life may be short, but sometimes what you go through makes it feel very long.
So, for those of you reading this going through a fertility journey, I hope my friend’s words can be a source of comfort to you and that you can take a moment to celebrate YOU and all you are doing and enduring.
Wendie Wilson-Miller
Founder, CEO at Gifted Journeys